Tired of You
by Victoria Anne Manning
Summary: Well, this is a series of songfics written to make a plot line, sort of. It kinda goes everywhere. So yeah. My first songfics are in here. Be gentle, my brainmeats dont want to be killed. Johnny and Devi... And killing.
1. Chapter 1: Tired of You

Yes… My first song-fic. Go me. I don't own the lovely Johnny C., Devi - the ALMIGHTY Jhonen does. And I also don't own Tired of You - The Exies do. Thank god for them.

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Where did I go wrong Cant look you in the eye Feeling so ashamed Feels like I could die

Johnny looked around the room where he seemed to spend most of his time - the living room. He sat on his couch, staring blankly at the black-screened television. He hadn't turned the thing on in days. The incessant nagging of the sitcom actors had been rubbing him the wrong way lately. But he couldn't get his mind off of her. After the recorded apology not ending up too well, he had started thinking of better ways to win her trust back. He didn't want it, really, he just… couldn't live without knowing that she at least trusted him to stay away.

He had written her dozens of letters, that he never intended to send to her. Because he knew that if he sent those letters, he place his hopes in a reply that would never come. He was surprised that she hadn't gotten a restraining order against him - probably, she had tried, but the authorities didn't care enough to grant her wish. Figures. Once again, he cant be caught. He was getting tired of never getting caught. He needed an intervention. Reverend Meat wasn't that good of an intervention, though he always gave the lesson of "Obey your feelings. Give in. Don't let go." But Johnny didn't like that lesson much.

'I cant believe that I did those things… that I said what I said to her… Immortalize the moment! What the fuck was I thinking? God.. I wish I could turn back time. What happened to me? Why didn't I resist their temptations. I knew the consequences… I knew that there would be happiness if I just… stopped. If I didn't give in. If they had gone away, it would have worked. I could have been happy…'

He couldn't stand to face her in person. He might be able to stalk her, but he couldn't talk to her. Not now. Probably not ever again. He held his head in his hands as he sighed over and over again.

Hold me up, don't let go I've had enough

He couldn't stand by and watch her fester as he watched. He couldn't just sit on the side lines and not touch her, or whisper her name. He had decided a few days back that he had had enough. He didn't want the feelings that she had bestowed in him at first, but the feelings he was feeling now… they were unbearable..

I'm tired of breathing Tired of feeling Tired of looking at the past for meaning

He looked around the dingy little room once more. He remembered their date. Those memories made him want to die. Not just the futile attempts on his life he made weekly. No, he really wanted to die this time. He wanted it all to end. He was tired of dealing with the past, the present, and the undecided future. He hated not knowing. He hated searching for the meaning in everything that was his memories.

Tired of running Tired of searching Tired of trying But I'm not tired of you

He was so exhausted from trying to leave his problems behind, and never returning to them, one after another. He never wanted to fall in love. He hadn't wanted these feelings that were boiling in his brain and stomach. All he wanted was to be normal.

"Devi…" He muttered, keeping back tears. He hated crying. Of all he was tired of, of all that he wanted gone, he still wanted Devi, he wasn't bored or tired with her, or the thought of her.

Losing everything Its something I cant face Hope is on the run Its something I cant fake

He, once more, took a quick look around the room, and grabbed his trench coat.

"Where are you going?" Meat called from the other room. Johnny didn't reply. All Meat got was a grunt and a shrug.

He was headed nowhere. He didn't care where he went. He was lost, and everything of his was lost. He couldn't stand to be in that house any longer. He needed out. He had no hope for the future. At least, when Devi was there, he had hope for something better. He had the hope, that if he died at that moment, that all his sins would be redeemed by the little fucker who calls himself God. But he had realised that all of those hopes were miserable fakes. That Devi was gone. That there were no loner any hopes left in him to… well, hope.

I want to feel a change I don't mind if it hurts You take away the pain You're the only thing that's pure

He wished he could change, over and over again, he wished. He hadn't wanted it to turn out the way it had. He hadn't wanted her to fear him, to carry at least four bottles of mace everywhere she went. He didn't mind what kind of change it was. Reincarnation was even a good idea. He wanted to be normal, normal enough that she would forgive him. When he was with her, he felt nothing but joy, and happiness. He didn't want to kill. He didn't want to feed whatever was bothering him. He just wanted her. She was the only one that liked him. She didn't make fun of him. She appreciated his difference. But not his insanity.

He looked up. She was sitting in the window of her apartment, looking down at him. She didn't look scared, or angry. She just… looked lovely. He gave her a sweeping bow, then turned. He had set eyes on her for the last time - well, not guaranteeing it would be the last time, for he did love the book store where she spent some of her time. But he wouldn't follow her, call her, or think of her ever again. He would truly give her his nothing.

As he walked away, Devi placed her hand on the window, staring at his retreating figure. He hadn't looked sad, or crazy. He just… looked lovely.

FIN.


	2. Chapter 2: Baptize Me

Wow. I am just raking out the song-fic's tonight, aren't I? Heh. Well, I don't own Johnny C, or the beautiful Devi D. The ALMIGHTY Jhonen does. And I don't own Baptize Me - The Exies do, once again.

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_You're in my head tormenting me I'm running scared in my time of need Cuts on my head cuts on my feet I'm here waiting so baptize me_

After attempting another failed suicide, Johnny sat on his little-used bed. His eyes were heavy, but he didn't feel like sleep. He just stared at the broken mirror on his dresser that sat a few feet away from him. Reverend Meat sat glaring at him, the word CALL on his stomach. Johnny shook his head.

"I wont." He muttered. Meat looked at him with caring eyes all of a sudden, then began laughing madly.

'Oh please, do. It might be fun. You cant run forever.'

"I can run. From her at least." Johnny declared, unsurely. For the past three weeks, he couldn't stop thinking about Devi. After refusing to talk, call, see, or stalk her again, he couldn't keep his mind off of her - though he had also refused to give her even the slightest thought. "And I will run. For as long as they let me run." He looked at the ground sadly. He felt strung up, like he had been placed in his own torture devices, shackles maybe, against a wall, or on a cross. He felt like he had nails in his hands and feet, making him immobile at all times. He felt tethered to everything he hated. He couldn't get away from life.

_I need a reason I need to know just why You were my meaning Now its me you deny You're in my head tormenting me I need a beginning so baptize me Baptize me_

He hated the fact that she was always there in his mind. He knew how she must have felt, when he would follow her home at night. He reflected silently on how she was always the one thing that meant something to him, even though she hated him. Well, maybe not hate, but fear for her life. That's right. He knew why. He might be scared shitless if he had tried to kill him. That made no sense, but he still thought it was worth keeping in his mind.

And she wouldn't leave his head. It was like she was a new voice that had manifested itself in his head. She was somewhat like a conscious for him. She told him not to do the things he did. Very rarely did he actually attempt at listening.

'You know, you could always go get some bullets for that gun.' He told himself, holding the cold piece of metal in his thin hands. He tossed the gun on the bed beside him. He couldn't believe that he didn't have anymore bullets. Where did they all go! He didn't use a gun THAT often. He couldn't stand to touch it most of the time.

_Hole in myself Kills by degrees Gift of compassion You gave to me Blistered my hands On your beliefs I'm here waiting so baptize me_

He hated remembering everything about Devi. He slammed his body down into the hard bed, and sighed deeply, staring up at the ceiling. A small smile formed on his lips.

'What are you smiling about?' Meat questioned from the dresser. Johnny propped himself up on his skinny elbows and eyed the figurine. The word DEVI was on the stomach this time. Johnny through the gun at the doll, barely missing it.

"I wont miss next time." He muttered, standing from the bed, and walking to the door.

'And, where might you be going? I seem to remember a time about three weeks ago that was awfully a lot like this… Are you going to see Devi?'

"I don't know where I am going. I might end up falling off a cliff, for all I know." Johnny explained, grabbing his trench coat, his backpack, and his walkman. Beethoven blared in his ears as he walked out of his house, not bothering to lock it.

_You're in my head tormenting me I'm running scared in my time of need Cuts on my head cuts on my feet I'm here waiting..._

He ended up at the cliff, where he and Devi had sat on their date. He glanced over the city, watching the lights flicker. Beethoven still blared in his ears. He felt someone tap him on the shoulder, and he whirled around, so fast, that it almost knocked him off his own feet.

He looked on in awe. Was he dreaming? He couldn't be.

"Hello Johnny."

FIN


	3. Chapter 3: Saviour

Really now… I must like doing these song-fic's. I just cant stop writing them. So many songs inspire me now. Well, I don't own Johnny or Devi - the lovely Jhonen does. And Saviour is owned by Memento. Great band. Yes. 

Authors Note: Yes. The lyrics in this fic are meant to be thought by both Johnny and Devi. If that makes any sense at all.

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_We tried so hard to erase you And We tried so hard to pretend you were dead I walked the earth just to escape you Now I walk the earth just to touch you again_

Johnny looked at the girl standing before him. She wore a black trench coat, similar to his, and a black skirt. It was a full moon outside, and he was afraid. He averted his eyes - he had been staring, and it had been quite obvious.

"Hello Johnny…" Devi said again. She gave him a smile.

"Hello.. De-Devi.." Johnny muttered, stumbling over his words. She gave a sigh, and leaned against a very weak tree. "I thought… you'd… be afraid of me."

"Oh, I am." She laughed out.

"Then… why are you here?" He felt like a little child. He hated the feeling. He wanted to annihilate that feeling from his being. He glanced up quickly, then looked back down, kicking at the dirt near his boot.

"I haven't been out of my apartment in a long time." She said, waving her hand absent minded like. She looked out over the city. "It really is lovely when you're looking down on it." She said, tiredly.

"Yes… It… is." Johnny muttered, taking a look at the city under them. He felt awkward. All he had wanted to do after refusing to think about her was erase her from his little world. He had lived those three weeks just to forget about her. Funny how things turn around so quickly.

_Come on down, my saviour, my failure Come on down, my saviour, my failure_

He felt like he had betrayed someone's trust. Whose? He couldn't tell, but someone's. He looked at her again, but was too afraid of speaking.

"Why don't we talk, Nny. It might be a good thing to talk." She suggested. Johnny nodded. "Do you want to go back to your place?"

"Ye-Yes." He muttered under his breath. She smiled at him.

"Then, shall we?" She asked, grabbing Johnny's hand in hers, and leading him through the streets and what not, to get back to his house. When they got there, Johnny opened the door timidly, and stepped in. He was still quite unsure about the meeting between them. He hadn't known why he said he wanted to come back here. He just… had.

"Hmm… Still as dingy as I remember it. I always HAVE liked your place, Nny." Johnny nodded at the girl as she sat on his couch.

"I don't get out much now… either." He said quietly.

"You're going to have to speak up, Nny. I can barely hear you." Devi laughed.

_To save myself I betrayed you And These swollen lips whisper only for revenge To spite myself I became you If I stop the lies, will I see you in the end?_

"Why are you here?" He asked, louder. Devi looked away, what seemed like anger boiling in her brainmeats.

"Your apology.. Over the phone. The whole 'I will annihilate you in the nicest way possible' bit… And also the 'I give you my nothing' bit… Yes… I actually don't know why I am here. I saw you three weeks ago, looking up at my window." She said, looking at the dirty floor. "You know, you should really vacuum this house."

"Yes, I know… But… circumstances of late don't allow me to do such things." Johnny was getting a bit more comfortable now. He looked at Devi, who was looking at him. They both started laughing loudly.

"Ahhhh… I haven't been this happy since our date months ago." Johnny said, smiling at Devi.

"Happy? Don't kill me, please." Devi chuckled. Johnny nodded.

"I said I haven't introduced you to my old friends, in the apology… Would you like to meet them?" Johnny asked, standing.

"Why not." Devi smiled, following Johnny into a dark room. He flipped the light-switch, and a blinding light seared through the darkness. Devi saw two horrendously painted Pillsbury Doughboys on the wall near his dresser.

_Swimming through the red Nothing up ahead I cannot buy a friend I just came here to tell you I miss you I miss you_

"The one with FUCK on it is Psycho Dough-Boy - the suicide obsessed fuck. And the one with the Z! on it is Mr. EFF. They died… when I shot myself." Johnny explained. He felt like a child, trying to explain his artwork to an adult.

"So that was that bang and screaming when I called you?"

"Yes, yes it was." Johnny nodded.

"Interesting." Devi nodded, resting her head on her hands as she sat looking at Johnny. "Well… I was thinking about your apology… It was strange at first, but I understand that talking to me would have been hard at the time. I am not that easy to talk to when I am scared, or angry." She confessed. Johnny nodded gently. "So, I want to apologize."

"What?" Johnny questioned, his eyes widening.

"I would like to apologize for being so rude to you. I understand now the fact that saying 'no' to something that you have grown accustomed to having around - and following their every order - would have been harder than killing the person you have feelings for. Trust me, I know. I really, really know." She laughed. Johnny just looked at her.

'You know, you can always try again.' He heard MEAT's voice in his head, and shook it off. It seemed to keep coming back. 'Don't refuse those feelings in your, Johnny. It isn't a good thing to refuse what your heart tells you is right.'

He didn't answer. He just looked at the girl next to him.

"Yes… Saying 'no' is… was a hard thing for me to do at the time… But I can refuse now. I don't have the Dough-Boy's nagging at me constantly to kill, or to attempt suicide. I just… exist now." Johnny said, under his breath. Devi looked at him with wide eyes.

"Hmm… I want to see a movie. Would you like to come with me?" She asked, standing and stretching.

'She is giving you another chance, Johnny. TAKE IT!'

"Yes, I would enjoy that." He said, standing also. He grabbed his backpack, and headed out after Devi. He heard MEAT laughing in his head:

'That's my boy, Johnny! FEEL'

_My saviour, my failure My saviour, I failed you_


	4. Chapter 4: Forgive Me

Well… I don't own Johnny or Devi. I wish I did. But the ALMIGHTY god Jhonen owns them. I also don't own the lyrics here. Evanescence does. 

Authors Note: I don't know where these things are coming from… Damn me for listening to too much music, and being a writer. Heh.

* * *

_Can you forgive me again?  
I don't know what I said But I didn't mean to hurt you_

"That movie was… interesting." Johnny said as they neared his car. Devi laughed.

"Yes, quite interesting. I didn't like it that much, but it was good to get out. Thank you for coming with me, Nny." She said as she climbed into the passenger seat of his little grey-blue car.

"What now?" He asked as he started up the car. Devi shrugged slightly. "I had fun."

"As did I." Johnny sighed. He could almost hear MEAT's voice nagging him: 'Do it. Invite her over. Fall in love all over again. Kiss. You know… Beg for forgiveness.' He wanted to smash that little voice and that stupid figurine into a million tiny pieces, than smash those into a million more tiny pieces. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to Devi.

"Let's go to my place. I have something's I would like to show you." Devi said. Johnny nodded, and headed over to Devi's apartment.

They walked up the stairs, silently, not touching one another - when they did bump shoulders or elbows, or their hands touched, they would shrug, and continue walking.

Devi opened the door to her apartment, and walked in, gesturing for Johnny to do the same. He followed her in, and sat where she dictated him to sit - on the couch. It was a comfy couch. He snuggled in deep into the cushions. He was relaxed, something he never was when with another person.

Devi disappeared into one of the back rooms, and returned a few minutes later, carrying a few canvas' under her arm. She showed them to Johnny. They seemed to all be of him, with eyes, and hands. It scared him, and depressed him, that he had inspired her so much. He didn't want to be an inspiration to her.

"Forgive me…" He whispered.

"For what?" Devi asked, a little bit of sarcasm in her voice.

"Why did we go out tonight?" He asked, looking up. He had a bit of crazy in his eyes. Devi took a step back.

"I… don't… know." She said (imagine the way GIR says it when Zim first gets him. Yes. Like that.)

"And, if you don't know, how do you expect me to evaluate the situation at the moment? I'd like to think that you have forgiven me. But most of me says that that is impossible. Of course, this might just be a dream. I believe it is. Do you have a window?"

"Why?" She asked, looking at him.

"I am going to push myself out of the window. If it hurts when I hit the ground, then I know that it wasn't a dream. And I might die." Johnny stood.

"This isn't a goddammed dream, Nny. I am really here, and so are you." Devi yelled. She slammed her paintings down on the ground, and took those few steps to Johnny, grabbing his shoulders, and shaking him.

"Slap me." He demanded.

"Excuse?" Devi stepped back.

"I said, SLAP ME." Johnny yelled. She did. "Ow…"

"See? Not a dream." She scoffed out, slamming her body into the couch. Johnny sat next to her, and held his head in his hands.

"Please, forgive me." He requested.

"Doesn't this date mean ANYTHING to you?" Devi spat out. She beat at the couch-arm, cursing herself in her mind.

"I hurt you. I cant deny that fact. I scared the living daylights out of you. And here I am, and here you are… And you aren't trying to kill me with mace…" Johnny said, sitting back into the couch. Devi looked at him. "I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't think you would actually live through that night. I didn't think I would live through it, after you beat the shit out of me. I didn't want it to turn out this way. I fucked up. Just another time in my life where something good goes away because of something I do. I shouldn't have lived after that night…"

"Shut up." Devi said, grabbing his hand, and holding it.

"What?" Johnny looked at his hand in hers, and let a smile creep onto his face.

_I heard the words come out I thought that I would die It hurt so much to hurt you_

"I said, SHUT UP. You cant continue to beat yourself up over this stupid situation…" Devi said, glaring at him. He looked away, and up at the ceiling. He then turned his attention to the walls, which were covered with more paintings like the ones she had shown him - except for the creepy one of a doll type thing. Devi saw his eyes looking at it.

"It's name is SICKNESS." She said, looking at the painting.

"It's… interesting." Johnny sighed.

_Then you look at me You're not shouting anymore You're silently broken_

Johnny looked at Devi, and smiled. They both leaned in for a kiss, but Johnny stopped at the last second.

"You're leaving aren't you?" He asked, pulling back. Devi sighed. She looked around.

"The boxes gave it away, didn't they?" Johnny nodded. "I guess I wanted to see you before I moved."

"Why are you moving?" Johnny asked, looking at her with wide eyes.

"I don't know… I just… need a change of scenery."

"I understand that need." Johnny laughed. Devi gave a little chuckle, than stood from the couch. She walked around her living room, eying all of the boxes.

_I'd give anything now to kill those words for you  
__Each time I say something I regret I cry I don't want to lose you.  
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah._

"Johnny…" Devi said, as she turned back to the couch. No one was there. He was gone. "Oh, Johnny."

'Cause you were made for me Somehow I'll make you see How happy you make me

"I am SO FUCKING STUPID!" He yelled at himself as he ran home. He stopped every once in a while to glare at the moon over head. When he reached his house, he was glad to be able to sit on his own couch, and think.

"Give her my nothing… Give her… my… nothing?" He questioned himself over again, one time after another. He couldn't stop questioning himself. "I just… want her to be happy." He confessed to the walls of his house. "I just want to be happy…"

'You cant be happy without feelings, Nny. Even I know that.'

"Shut up." Johnny muttered to the figurine that was conveniently placed on the table between the couch and the television.

_So stay with me You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.._

"FUCK IT!" He went to his room, and grabbed his gun. "I hate these things… but sometimes, shit needs to be done." He grabbed his jacket again, and ran back to Devi's apartment - you see, he had left his car there.

When he got to her apartment, he noticed that the lights were off. 'She must be asleep,' he thought. He quietly walked up the steps, and picked the lock. She was lying on the couch, eyes closed.

"I am so fucking sorry…" He whispered as he placed the gun against the side of her head.

"Just… do it… Nny." She said in her sleep, and rolled over. He repositioned the gun. He didn't think she actually knew what was going on - sleeping minds never know the truth.

"I… love you." He whispered, and he pulled the trigger. Blood went everywhere, on his clothes, the wall, the couch. She was dead. He had finally annihilated the one thing that brought him happiness. He would never be happy again. Yet, a small smile crept across his face as he grabbed some of her paintings off the wall, and the ones off the floor. He quietly headed down to his car, taking one last look up at the window. As he looked into the darkness of the apartment, he swore he saw Devi, standing in the window, staring at him, her hand on the glass. The ghost-Devi smiled at him, waving with her other hand.

_And you forgive me again You're my one true friend And I never meant to hurt you_


	5. Chapter 5: Like a Stone

Last one in this damned series. This is just a random series… This has NO effect on any of my other fic's… So… yes. I don't own Johnny or Devi… Jhonen does. I also don't own the lyrics: Audioslave does.

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_On a cobweb afternoon In a room full of emptiness By a freeway I confess I was lost in the pages Of a book full of death Reading how we'll die alone And if we're good we'll lay to rest Anywhere we want to go_

The funeral was that day. Johnny didn't really want to go. But he might as well. He had killed her. He couldn't stand to be there though.

He grabbed his trench coat and his backpack, and headed out for the cemetery. He would stay for a few minutes, than leave, and go back home. Or maybe he would go to her apartment, and snatch a few more paintings. He had hung the paintings he had stole from her on the walls all around the house - some in the living room, but most were in the basement rooms below the house.

_In your house I long to be Room by room patiently I'll wait for you there Like a stone I'll wait for you there Alone_

When he got to the cemetery, the funeral had already begun. Johnny heard the squeaking of Spooky, meaning that Tenna was there. He found her, and stood near her. She kept squeaking the doll in his ear.

"So, you're that guy." Tenna whispered as the man said words about Devi. "That guy… that tried to kill Devi."

"Shut up." He muttered, glaring at the man standing over the coffin. He wasn't doing justice to Devi's deadness. Johnny walked up to the man, and quietly stabbed him in the back.

"Devi. Some knew her better than others. I am one of those who knew her that wishes I could have known her better." He began. "Killing Devi was the hardest thing for me to do." He got a few gasps from the crowd. Tenna laughed loudly. "I didn't want to do it this time. Well, I did. But the first time I attempted a try on her life, she beat the shit out of me. I deserved it. But this time, as I held the gun to her head - and I hate guns, mind you - she told me to do it. She told me to pull the trigger. That was the last thing she said to me. I know now that I will die alone. And if I cant die, than I will always BE alone."

The people looked at one another, than back at the speaker. Johnny nodded, smiled, and kept going:  
"Most of you must have been good friends of Devi's. But that isn't going to stop the mass murder I have planned for you all." Tenna squeaked Spooky, than ran off. "Alright… All of you except Tenna… Now… If you would all not panic, because I am about to administer your DOOM!"

_On my deathbed I will pray To the gods and the angels Like a pagan to anyone Who will take me to heaven To a place I recall I was there so long ago The sky was bruised The wine was bled And there you led me on_

He grabbed his backpack, opened it, and brought out a bunch of 'tools' he always carried on his person. He threw dozens of knives at the fleeing group, and even tossed a few small bombs into the middle of the crowd. They were screaming and running, which made Johnny laugh loudly, above their screams and the bursting of bombs.

After his little fun, he walked back home, whistling Ode to Joy. He smiled as he entered his house, setting his backpack and trench coat on the couch. He flopped onto his bed, staring at the ceiling.

He was awakened by knocking on his door.

"Who the fuck is knocking on my door!" He asked MEAT, or maybe he asked himself, he wasn't entirely sure. He walked to the door, and opened it a crack. A hand stuck Spooky in his face, and he jumped back, letting the door go as he fell to the floor. Tenna stood in the doorway, giggling madly at the fallen maniac.

"I liked that little show you put on at the funeral." She laughed out, walking passed Johnny, heading towards the couch. "So… Yeah. What's going on, Johnny C.?" She asked, squeaking Spooky. "Yes, Spooky, this is the crazy man that killed all those people at the funeral."

"You TALK to that thing?" Johnny asked, pointing at Spooky.

"Yes… And he isn't a THING. He is my friend. My only friend now…" She glared at Johnny.

"Alright…"

"So, you really shot Devi in the head?" Tenna asked, eying Johnny.

"Is that why you came here? I have better things to do than sit around and answer your stupid questions." Johnny walked to the basement door, and turned the knob.

"Hey! Wait!" Tenna yelled as Johnny stepped onto the first stair. She was right behind him, squeaking that stupid toy!

"What… do… you… WANT!" Johnny turned and slapped Tenna down to the ground.

"He IS mean, Spooky… You were right." Tenna whispered to the doll.

_And on I read Until the day was gone And I sat in regret Of all the things I've done For all that I've blessed And all that I've wronged In dreams until my death I will wander on_

"Go away Tenna." He said, and slammed the basement door in her face. He heard her walk to the front door, and leave. He was glad that she was gone. She reminded him of Devi. He walked down the many flights of stairs and ladders until he reached the fifth floor, where his favourite room was. He called it his 'Salvation room'. He grabbed his diary from the pocket in his trench coat that he had secretly grabbed after letting Tenna into his house.

'Dear Die-ary,

I did it. And I intend on annihilating anything that remotely RESEMBLES emotions now. I don't want to love. I don't want to hate. I believe this means that I am going to stop killing. Just existing. But how can I do that? I cant help but get angry! And my anger is so over-powering that it takes complete control of me… and I just give in. Stupid, disgusting, so many words to describe how I feel right now. I killed everyone at the funeral today - except Tenna… She ran away. Eh. Shit. I am going to get a BrainFreezie.  
J.C.'

He stood from the floor, and stepped onto the ladder. One day, this would all be gone. He knew it would. He'd destroy everything, or try to. He'd make it so that he couldn't get passed a certain level. He'd make himself blow the stairs up some day. But not today. He walked away from the room, and the house, to get away for another hour. Ah, loneliness… Bliss. He loved happiness.

_In your house I long to be Room by room patiently I'll wait for you there Like a stone I'll wait for you there Alone, alone_

FIN.


End file.
